Krisan Putih

And so he asked. He read it – and asked. I don’t know whether there would be any use of talking about it. Talks of how we really feel, questions of why and how. I’d rather stay this way, remain doing whatever it is that I have to do. All these heart matters can come last afterwards.

It doesn’t mean that I’m disgraced of all these, doesn’t mean that every single thing and second I had with him doesn’t even mean a thing. It’s just something about gambling. Gambling on whether I myself strong enough to traverse a new road; whether I could accept somebody else to walk beside me or not; whether I can face any unpredictable situations that I might have in the future; whether I’m ready to love someone with all my heart.

There’s something called priority and this kind of thing isn’t included in my list. As I said, I wouldn’t do anything to harm myself anymore. If ever these seeds grow, I would prefer to plant them alone. So then, questions would all be left as questions. I don’t need any answers; I just need to spit them out. It might seems like pretending, but I care none. Though indeed I care, I’ll try my best to say none.